Our family

I noticed several years ago that my daughter had difficulty in her reactions to the environment. There was the
temper tantrums that lasted for hours, the biting and pulling hair, the attempt to jump out of the car, and so on.
It has always taken extra effort to manage her. Even the family members that offered the "leave her with me and
I'll take care of her" ultimatums would send her back and tell me that I needed to do something with her!

I took her to therapy at 2 years of age. My divorce had just been finalized and I was concerned that the
additional stress was causing some of the behaviors. The therapist reported that she was indeed "bothered" by
the divorce as her "tree's look very sad". (She was always a very wonderful artist!)

We experienced several moves before ending up in Indiana. Once settled here, I managed to get her into First
Steps. She was only able to receive a few sessions since she was about to "age out" of the program. (She was
about to turn 3 years.) The recommended diagnosis was Disruptive Behavior Disorder. There was also a
"strong indication" of ADHD though, she was too young to diagnose. It was also suggested that she have a lead
screening completed to rule out lead poisoning which can create behavioral difficulties. It came back within
normal limits. We ceased therapy due to lack of insurance at that point. Why go to therapy if she was too
young to do anything with? I decided to wait. What if it is just her "personality" or "age"? I should wait until she
starts school and see if it presents a problem then. Right?

She started Kindergarten right before she turned 6 years old. I was never called by the principal to come get
her. Though, she was never called to receive the "Outstanding Citizenship" award either. (Despite the fact that
everyone else in the class - minus one boy - did get the award.) This continued through first grade. The
teacher and principal did discuss their concern about her "lack of focus" and "defiance" at times. She tended to
daydream and become unresponsive during class. No kidding? Upon their request, we went to see another
therapist. The therapist felt that it was depression, anxiety and PTSD. The psychiatrist said that it was
Adjustment Disorder with chronic mood, then ADHD. His prescription...Tenex. Not good. Major problems
afterwards! I immediately discontinued the medication. After a few more therapy sessions, I felt that their job
was done since medication was their answer. And...I disagreed since "children shouldn't take medicine!"

During 2nd grade, I finally got the special education evaluation that I had asked for over a year before. (I had to
switch schools to get it.) The schools evaluation was that she was "Learning Disabled". She receives additional
help 3 times per week. She started with a new therapist. Their interpretation was depression, anxiety and
ADHD. She was prescribed Zoloft. That was another mistake! I took her off that medication. But, under the
psychiatrists recommendation that "kids don't have 'psychotic' side effects on that medicine", I put her back on
with the same results. I switched to the school-based therapy program.

Meanwhile, the behavior at home was becoming more difficult to cope with. She would scream for hours on end,
hurt people in the family, etc. I was ready to be "mentally ill". The therapist was...not very understanding, to say
the least. It seems that my baby was able to "control" herself at school. That must mean that the problem is at
home. Right? It seemed that I was in a constant battle to "prove" that I was not THAT deficient of a parent. I
have read every book, went to every training, devoted my life to learning how to be a "good parent"...and it
wasn't working! After consulting with her pediatrician, we decided to try her on Straterra for her ADHD. That
was the worse decision! A few weeks later, she was truly psychotic. (The devil was inside her, why didn't she
have wings since she was an angel...) And, then, I got the phone call to pick her up and take her to the hospital
for admission! After 9 days without her, I got her back. She was diagnosed Major depression with psychosis and
suicidal features, ODD and ADHD. She left the hospital on Risperdal, Paxil and Adderall XR. I was tattered and
worn by that point. And, seeing the impact that her "thoughts" and actions had on her life...I knew that
medication was our last resort. After a month, it still hadn't made much of a difference except that her "night
terrors" were gone. We dc'd the Risperdal and started Abilify. After several months of increasing that
combination of medication, she had to be hospitalized again. She had become so irritable that she was
attacking everyone in the house. (Her 3 year old brother with a golf club.)

She was admitted as being in a "manic" phase. She had actually acquired the diagnosis of bipolar several
months prior while she was in a "special" summer camp. She was taken off the Paxil and Adderall XR and
decreased on the Abilify. It was thought that the combination of meds were making her "irritable". Since she has
been home, she has been somewhat more cooperative. But, still not at a "functioning" level. The mood swings
still mainly happen at home. (How wonderful!) Her "swings" are not as extreme. And, she has not seriously hurt
anyone recently. That brings us to the present day where I spend "down time" trying to figure out how to make
things a little more manageable.

I am fortunate to have been able to find some of the services that I felt would greatly assist her in learning better
ways of coping. She has a school-based and home-based therapist. I feel that continued therapy, behavior
modification and medication (unfortunately), she may be able to "control" some of her more extreme emotions.
Of course, it seems to be an endless battle where the only sure thing is the moment.